Author: Kiki Writes

Rerun Junkie Guest Star- Dub Taylor

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I adore Dub Taylor. He might have appeared in more movies than TV shows, but he won my heart in reruns. He was perfectly made for westerns with his gruff look that could go sweet or mean depending on the need. That country accent might have sounded a little out of place in the modern day cityscape, but he made it work.

Of his 263 credits on IMDB going back to 1938, surprisingly only one is for a regular character: Wallie Simms on the 1957 series Casey Jones, which starred Alan Hale Jr. as the title character. He had brief recurring stints of a few episodes on Dennis the Menace, Hazel, Tammy, Please Don’t Eat the Daisies, Little House on the Prairie, and Designing Women. Somehow, no series was able to keep him long, which is a shame.

Even though I think Dub Taylor was tailor made for westerns, two of my favorite appearances of his weren’t set in the Old West.

One was in the Chopper One episode “Downtime”. Helicopter cops Foley and Burdick are grounded while their chopper is undergoing repairs, so their captain puts them in a squad car to patrol, something Burdick used to do more than his helicopter pilot partner Foley. They run across Rudy, played by Dub Taylor, an eccentric thief, who’s good at stealing little things, but not good at not getting caught. There’s a scene in which they have him empty his pockets and it’s like a clown car of stolen goods. He later helps them out by pointing them in the direction of a suspect who planted a bomb on a dam.

I would like to think that if the series had continued, that there’d be at least one episode a season of Burdick and Foley patroling on the ground and running into Rudy. Those episode would have been gold.

The other episode I love him in is the second season episode of The Monkees called “Hillbilly Honeymoon”. It’s Romeo and Juliet meets the Hatfield and McCoys with a Monkees twist. Dub Taylor plays Paw Chubber, whose daughter Ellie Mae is first in love with Judd from the rival Weskett clan, but then falls in love with Davy, earning the ire of Judd. Judd and Maw Weskett kidnap Davy with the intent of turning him into mash for moonshine. Meanwhile, Paw Chubber insists that Davy make an honest woman of his daughter since he caught them kissing. It’s a hilarious episode and Dub Taylor does his part as a menacingly funny patriarch armed with a shotgun.

As I said, Dub Taylor was made for westerns and appeared in several, such as The Range Rider, Cheyenne, Lawman, The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp, Laramie, The Virginian, Laredo, Death Valley Days, The Big Valley, Cimarron Strip, Lancer, The Guns of Will Sonnett, The High Chaparral, Gunsmoke (including an episode with his son Buck Taylor), Alias Smith and Jones, Bonanza, How the West Was Won, Bret Maverick, Iron Horse, and The Wild Wild West.

He named names on The Roy Rogers Show, The Barbara Stanwyck Show, The Lloyd Bridges Show, and The Andy Griffith Show; checked in on Dr. Kildare and Emergency!; was wholesome on My Three Sons, That Girl, Father Murphy, and The Partridge Family; got a little silly on I Love Lucy, My Favorite Martian, and The Real McCoys; enlisted with The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin and Ensign O’Toole; privately investigated on Michael Shayne, Surfside 6, and 77 Sunset Strip; hit the beach on The Beachcomber and Hawaii Five-O; doubled up on Hardcastle and McCormick, The Odd Couple, and McMillian and Wife; got out there with The Twilight Zone and Salvage 1; lawyered up with law enforcement on Perry Mason, Burke’s Law, and Law & Order; spied with The Man from U.N.C.L.E and went undercover on Mod Squad; and hung out with Burt Reynolds on Evening Shade.

Dub Taylor brings a certain rustic charm to every role I’ve seen him in. He’s as comfortable being goofy as he is being mean. And even the in the smallest guest spot, he draws attention. Dub Taylor can’t help but be a star.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 74

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A murder turns Five-O on to an elaborate gold plot in “Murder with a Golden Touch”. Che Fong gets his Mr. Wizard on and it pleases me.

And then a serial killer rapist is on the loose in “Nightmare in Blue”. Trigger warning for sexual assault for “Nightmare in Blue”. This is a pretty rough one to watch, but it is quite good. Even if I hate all of the men on principle.

There were only a few glitches in this episode, so I’m going to be overly optimistic and decide that my microphone is fine.

Listen on Soundcloud, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.

Jack Lord was serving in these two episodes. We are blessed.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 73

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Both a hitman and Five-O are looking for the same guy in “Secret Witness”. There’s some excellent baby acting here. I’m not super into this episode, but that baby and some Five-O sass send me.

And then a young man with daddy issues is cooking up drugs with a vengeance in “Death with Father”. Trigger warning for suicide both in the episode and in the discussion. This episode marks Jack Lord’s directorial debut for the series and it’s got some sass in it, too.

I apologize for the audio issues in the episode. I don’t know what caused those weird glitches, but I hope I don’t need a new mic.

Listen to the good, the bad, and the ugly of my production quality on Soundcloud, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.

Not quite matching Aloha outfits, but there’s something to be said about a couple on the same vibe.

Mark Jenkins, a young white man with curly dark blond hair, and Cindy Williams, a young white woman with short dark hair, are both wearing red buttoned down shirts. Cindy is watching Mark look through a wallet.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 72

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The back half of Season 6 continues as Five-O surfs for a hitman in “The Banzai Pipeline”. We’ve got some hot surfing action, Perry King dedicated to open-shirt film making, and Nicholas Hammond declining a shirt at every opportunity. This one was for the ladies, select gentlemen, and certain distinguished folks.

And then Five-O hopes to con a con artist in “One Born Every Minute”. I issued a mild trigger warning for suicide for the episode. You don’t see anything, but we know what happens. I do talk about it in the discussion.

Listen on Soundcloud, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.

Please enjoy these visual aids from the episodes.

I Am Fascinated by the Heterosexual Marriages of Television Yore

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For episode 72 of Book ’em, Danno, I watched the sixth season Hawaii Five-O episode “One Born Every Minute” in which a brilliant con man uses a beautiful blonde to rope in married, middle aged men to swindle money from them in an elaborate diamond buying scheme. The con man targets these men because their married nature precludes them from going to the cops once they’ve discovered they’ve been had because they don’t want their wives to find out that they were in the market to cheat.

Which is funny considering cheating was almost normalized on TV during that time. It’s understood that married, middle aged men are going to cheat on their wives as soon as a pretty young thing gives them the opportunity, and not just at the office or on business trips, but even while they’re on vacation with their wives waiting in their hotel room while they’re off cavorting, like two of the swindle victims in the episode.

The heterosexual marriage narrative depicted in television is that by middle age and a couple of decades of marriage, the wives are used up, miserable nags, and the husbands are misunderstood, hen-pecked, and most importantly, still desirable to gorgeous young women, so it’s only logical that they would step outside of the confines of their marriage to experience that freedom. Most of the time, there’s no indication that the men want anything but a little something-something on the side -after all, to leave their wife is to leave the comfort of their needs being consistently met. Girlfriends are for sexy times; wives are for laundry. Yet, there’s also enough concern for consequences (I’d call it shame, but baby, that ain’ it) that these men don’t want their wives to find out about any of these indiscretions.

What a delightful dichotomy that lands husband after husband in hot water, particularly on cop shows.

What an odd expectation of marital life to set. It was inevitable that husbands would cheat on their wives and wives would tolerate it. It was inevitable that husbands and wives would eventually hate each other. It’s a natural progression of marital bliss after the honeymoon period. In a society that puts emphasis on marriage -especially at that time when a woman’s life was forcibly tied to a man (unable to get credit, open a bank account, etc. without a man’s signature)- can you imagine watching your favorite show and being told that’s the life you should not only expect but be grateful for? Hell, week after week on The Honeymooners, Ralph Cramden threatened to send his wife Alice to the moon while she seemed to barely tolerate his existence for the sake of his paycheck, and that was considered to be a normal marriage. Wild.

Of course, not every television marriage was depicted this way. Darrin and Samantha Stephens had a pretty loving marriage on Bewitched; Carol and Mike Brady are both marriage and parenting goals; even some of the married couples that passed through Hawaii Five-O, criminal and law abiding, seemed to have decent relationships. But when The Addams Family exists in direct challenge to everything suburban normal and that includes a loving marriage with spouses who are openly affectionate and infatuated with each other even after two kids and many years, that speaks some volumes. Practically shouts, really.

Watching these shows now, at this distance, with the depiction of the casual philandering and the general ball-and-chain attitude, it’s just fascinating that this was put forth as an ideal. A norm. This was the future every girl should dream of and every man should subject himself to.

Enjoy your marital bliss.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 71

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We’re firmly on the backside of Season 6, and when I say it’s all downhill from here, I don’t mean the quality of the show, just my podcast. This episode had to be recorded over two separate days, so the sound quality might be a little wonky. I’m finding new and fun ways to make your listening experience a challenge.

Anyway, Five-O is in search of five cents in “The 100,000 Nickel”. Thanks to Victor Buono, the episode somehow makes coin collecting look dangerous and hip. We’re also gifted with another couple in matching Aloha outfits. Baby, that’s love.

Millie, a middle-aged white woman with short, curly red hair, is looking concerned at her husband Arnie, a middle-aged white man with short, curly dark hair. The couple are wearing matching green and white aloha outfits.

And then Five-O is tasked with tracking down some clever bank robbers hiding in plain sight in “The Flip Side is Death”. I was drinking while recording that episode. Good luck to us all.

Listen on Soundcloud, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.

Look at this angel face. He could never do anything wrong. But if he did, I’d be first in line to be his henchwoman.

Eric Damien, a middle-aged white man with thinning light hair and a round face, is smiling. He's wearing a light brown-grey suit with a white dress shirt and light and dark brown patterned tie.

Three More Tropes I Hate

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I am back once again with a healthy dose of negativity. I’ve already posted five tropes I hate, and it was only a matter of time before I got around to posting a few more. Why three and not five? Because I thought of three off the top of my head and decided to be irregular about it.

Just a reminder, these are my dislikes, not yours. If you disagree, that’s great. But don’t try to change my mind.

  1. Good Girl/Bad Boy– We know this story. She’s a good girl. If she’s young, she’s a good student, model child. If she’s older, then she’s sweet, possibly innocent, a hard worker, and rule follower. An occasional glass of wine is the most drinking she’ll do. He’s a bad boy. In school, he’s flunking grades and causing trouble. Outside of school, he continues his rule breaking ways, maybe straying into lawbreaking ways. He drinks, he smokes, he probably wears a leather jacket to show his disdain for authority. The idea behind the couple is an opposites attract situation. Of course the good girl would be attracted to the bad boy and vice versa. They both have qualities that the other admires and/or needs. The bad boy can loosen up the uptight good girl and the good girl can instill some discipline and respect in the bad boy. I suppose it’s all fine in theory, but too often it comes across as the “I can change him” fairy tale that’s been the unrealistic foundation of cis het relationships for far too long. Worse, the good girl so believes her love has changed her bad boy that she refuses to see that her man hasn’t transformed a lick, like in the Hawaii Five-O episode “Engaged to Be Buried”. He’s a daddy’s boy who killed your friend and threatened to kill your father. Why are you crying over him? Throw the whole man away.
  2. Oh no! A Girl!– I want to say that this trope has been left in the past, but I know better than to get my hopes up. The trope is a play on the woman in a man’s job stereotype. The men are so weirded out that there’s a GIRL in their midst doing a MAN’S job that their brains short out and they act like the biggest misogynistic assholes shat out of a writer’s pen. There are two main reasons that this trope makes my eye twitch. The first is that it makes the characters we’ve come to know and love unlikable, and in some cases barely indistinguishable from some of the jerks already dealt with in the series. The second is that the women are frequently written to be annoying in their insistence on proving they’re worthy of the job. While that does have the basis in some truth (women have to work twice as hard to be considered half as good), they don’t have to be aggravating about it. Between the men and the women being annoying, I’m irritated and can’t enjoy the episode. One twist on this trope was in an episode of Chopper One called “Deadly Carrier” in which Burdick was first surprised that the doctor was a woman and then proceeded to treat her with a disrespect he’d never show a male doctor. This was later played off as bickering for sexual tension, which means the episode just went from one of my hated to tropes to another.
  3. Let’s Add a Kid– It’s probably most popular to do on a sitcom. The original children are getting older and less cute, so let’s remedy that by adding new children. The Brady Bunch is probably the most notorious for this because of Cousin Oliver (the scapegoat for the show’s cancellation even though the obvious declining quality of episodes is right there), but other shows have done it, too. On Roseanne, the kids were all grown or nearly so when she decided she wanted another baby and they ended up with Jerry. On Step by Step, the blended family ended up with a half-sister when the six kids started hitting puberty. Even Little House on the Prairie featured an influx of orphaned children when Mary and Laura got married and Carrie was one of the older kids at the schoolhouse. The one that irks me the most is on Family Matters. The Winslows started out with three kids -Eddie, Laura, and Judy- and Harriet’s sister Rachel had a baby named Richie. They ended up writing Judy off the show (pretty much Chuck Cunninghamed her) claiming they didn’t have enough stories for her, but then when Richie got older a few seasons later, he suddenly acquired a friend named 3J that ended up living with the Winslows. Didn’t even utilize all of the children they had, but still had to get another one. Guess they thought no one would notice due to all of the Urkel happening at the time.

Do these trope dislikes age me? Make me come across as a crusty, disgruntled old woman?

Good.

There will be more.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 70

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We’re officially at the half-way point of Season 6! Time flies when you’re having fun catching bad guys.

First, Five-O deals with a group doing a little nuclear blackmail in “Anybody Can Build a Bomb” and then untangles a murder mystery involving an unconventional lottery in “Try to Die on Time”.

Both episodes have minor trigger warnings for mentions of suicide in the discussion and allusions to it in the episodes themselves.

Listen on Soundcloud, Apples Podcasts, and Spotify.

Apologies for the background noise. Cold Case Files and Murder, She Wrote were particularly loud in the next room this time.

Please enjoy this showcase of Five-O street wear.

The Truth Is Always Best…Unless You’re a Cop

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Despite my love of cop shows, I’ve never really been into the Law & Order franchise. Never had the urge or inclination to watch any of the shows. Then Charge changed their line-up, I was too lazy to change the channel, and now I’m hooked on Law & Order: Criminal Intent. I blame Vincent D’Onofrio and Kathryn Erbe.

The character of Detective Robert Goren says at one point during the final season that everybody lies all the time. Granted, this is said during a therapy session because my guy has some issues and he learned this lesson from his father telling him to lie to his mother about his father’s affairs, but it sort of makes sense that he would believe that anyway since he kind of lives this truth in his work. During the course of their investigations, he and Detective Alex Eames lie a whole lot to suspects. They lie about evidence, they lie about conversations, they lie about circumstances. I’m not talking about undercover work -though they do that a bit in the series. I’m talking about straight up lying to the people they’re questioning.

This behavior is totally legal. Cops are allowed to lie to the people they’re questioning. Just another reason why it’s important for folks to exercise their rights and ask for a lawyer.

But these are the good guys. Their lies are justified. It’s all in the pursuit of justice. Evidence is fine. A confession is better. In the world of fictional cops, confessions aren’t just the goal; they’re the norm. There’s a narrative to be served here.

Goren and Eames do have their own moral code when it comes to lying to suspects. For example, they won’t pressure a mentally fragile suspect, but instead lie and manipulate the suspect’s psychiatrist, who is responsible for the suspect’s destroyed mental state and ultimately, his crime.

They also right a wrong of a coerced confession from a group of minors accused of assaulting a woman. The cops in the interrogation video don’t do anything that Goren and Eames haven’t done before -lying to and manipulating their suspects- but the difference is these boys are innocent and the cops know it.

Fun fact: it only became illegal in Illinois for cops to lie to minors they’re interrogating in 2022. It’s still legal in other states. This is also why it’s important for minors to know their rights and for their guardians to know them, too.

I know it seems like I’m picking on Law & Order: Criminal Intent, but this is prevalent in just about every cop show. Steve McGarrett wasn’t above lying to suspects on Hawaii Five-O. In the case of some criminals, I think he took a certain amount of pleasure in lying to them just to see the look on their faces when they were caught. He had mean streak when it came to justice.

I’m sure that even the saintly Barney Miller lied to a suspect or two, but I can’t remember any instances off hand and I’m too lazy to do any research on it. It’s not like the 12th precinct arrested the kind of criminals the required an intensive interrogation. Most of them were caught in the act anyway.

The point of copaganda is to normalize some of the worst behaviors of the police and though it is legal for cops to lie to suspects during questioning, it doesn’t necessarily make it a good thing. It’s a manipulation tactic that’s seen more than a few innocent people put behind bars.

Some things are better left to the likes of Goren and Eames.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 69

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Book 'em Danno Podcast

Political motives and personal vendettas collide in “A Bullet for El Diablo”. And then counterfeit bonds and murder are the means to a million dollars in “The Finishing Touch”.

The episodes this season have been running a bit long, so I made a conscious effort to cut down my synopsis and stop rambling so much. As a result, this episode is under an hour. I think we’re all better off.

Also, it’s episode 69, so of course it’s nice.

Listen on Soundcloud, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.

Check out Steve McGarrett setting the sunglasses standard that Horatio Caine would later make iconic. Yes, Steve did do a “putting the sunglasses on to emphasize the dialogue” move.

Jack Lord as Steve McGarret, a serious looking white man in his fifities with brown hair wearing silver framed sunglasses and a dark blue suit.