Hawaii Five-O

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 47

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Book 'em Danno Podcast

It’s finally time for Season 4’s two-parter and it’s a doozy! When “The Ninety Second War” starts off with a car wreck, you do not anticipate that it would end with a missile launch. The extensive frame job that dominates the first episode is exquisite, complete with doppelganger and trip to Switzerland. Who’s behind it all? Wo Fat, of course. And the second episode is all about figuring out what he wants with ninety seconds.

It’s a fun ride.

Listen on Soundcloud, iTunes, Spotify, and Stitcher.

I mention that Donald Pleasence has a moment of looking unhinged. Of course, my words cannot do it justice.

donald pleasance unhinged

Also, here’s a picture of Wo Fat talking to Vogler in front of his kicky little sub. Just because.

wo fat sub meeting

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 46

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Book 'em Danno Podcast

Steve finds himself being used to help eliminate a witness in “Bait Once, Bait Twice”. This episode is an instant classic for two reasons: we learn that Steve gets his hair done weekly and we’re gifted an assassin with the shortest shorts known to man. Truly distracting. I ranted about them twice.

And the reboot crew tackles an assassination plot during Thanksgiving in “Hau’oli La Ho’omaika’i”. I picked this Season 4 episode because Carol Burnett’s Aunt Deb is magnificent and I want everyone to know her.

Come for the short shorts, stay for the turkey shenanigans.

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Behold the short shorts. If I had to see them, so do you.

assassin short shorts

Five TV Tropes I Love

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Since I already ran off at the mouth about five tropes I hate (with the promise of more), it’s only fair that I give the tropes I love the same treatment. As with the hated tropes, these are in no particular order because you can’t rank love.

Elaborate Schemes- If you’ve ever listened to Book ’em, Danno, you already know this. I adore elaborate schemes, the wilder the better. They don’t have to make sense. They don’t have to be practical. They just have to be bold. That’s why Wo Fat is one of my favorite villains. The man has a gift for theatrics. I’ve raved about his long-game frame job. But Hawaii Five-O is full of great plans and grand schemes. Elaborate plans to rob banks and steal diamonds and commit murders. There are times they border on ridiculous and unnecessary. There are times they absolutely cross that line. Sometimes they end up an absolute mess and don’t make much sense at all. None of that matters to me. A for effort. Get complicated. Get weird. I’m in.

Doppelgangers- That Wo Fat frame up included a doppelganger and that is also my joy. A doppelganger plot, regardless of what kind of show it’s on, is going to be ridiculous. Sitcoms frequently use the Prince and the Pauper set-up, sometimes literally. Davy took the place of a shy prince in order to win him the girl. Ginger’s doppelganger Eva Grub ended up on the island with the castaways and after a make-over, went back to civilization to take over Ginger’s career. Gilligan also came face to face with a spy with his face. And Mr. Howell had his own dealings with an imposter bearing his likeness. In retrospect, there were a lot of doppelgangers on Gilligan’s Island. Of course, it’s said that everyone has one. Naturally occurring doppelgangers are great; created doppelgangers are better. These happen a lot on dramas. People impossibly surgically altered to look like someone else for nefarious purposes. It’s absolutely unlikely and totally ridiculous, which makes it that much better.

Improbable Countdowns- You know the drill. There’s five minutes, two minutes, thirty seconds left before the big terrible thing happens but somehow our heroes are able to beat the clock despite the fact that they ran out of time three times over easy and we all know it. Rarely are shows able to do what needs to be done in the allotted time and that’s fine. We’re not expecting 100% accuracy here. But there are times when it’s so egregious it’s laughable and those are the one I love the most. There’s an episode of Baywatch Nights in which Mitch, Ryan, and guest character Claire have to get off a rig that’s going to explode in 90 seconds and they use half of that time sitting and dialoguing. There’s no way they got to the railing in the time they had, but thanks to the law of TV countdowns, they had time to spare. And I’m not mad about it.

It Was All a Dream- I admit this is a controversial love, but stick with me here. There’s an episode of The Golden Girls where Blanche’s husband George appears to have faked his death, meanwhile, Sonny Bono and Lyle Waggoner are pursuing Dorothy relentlessly, straight up fighting over her. It’s a wacky episode and funny as hell. And it’s not until the end that’s it’s revealed that it’s all a dream, a recurring one that Blanche has which is rooted in some unresolved feelings she has surrounding her husband’s sudden death. It’s quite bittersweet when she reveals that this dream was different because she finally got to hug her husband as she usually wakes up before then, suggesting that she’s come to terms with an aspect of her grief. So, there are times in which those dreams episodes can be well done. But they don’t have to be for me to enjoy them. Saying an entire season of Dallas was a dream just to get Patrick Duffy back on the show and therefore fucking up canon across that universe is amazing for the chaos alone and I’ll ride with it. Also, St. Elsewhere‘s series finale? Come on. Some dreams are legendary.

The Rashomon Effect- Quick refresher: this is the device of telling the same story from the viewpoint of different characters and because people tend to interpret and remember their realities differently for various reasons, it can get pretty entertaining and messy. One of my favorite instances of this is in a Mama’s Family episode actually called “Rashomama”. Thelma ends up in the hospital thanks to a cookpot to the head and Ellen, Naomi, and Eunice all give their versions of what happened, which naturally paints each teller as a saint without fault. We never do learn exactly what happened and who put Thelma in the hospital. Gilligan’s Island uses the Rashomon Effect to retell the events of an episode we’ve already seen, painting each teller as the hero when we all know that Gilligan was the one who saved them, which is a pretty unique spin. CSI: Miami did a fun version of this having Ryan, Calleigh, and Eric investigate the same murder, each coming to a different conclusion from their evidence. Naturally, Horatio straightens things out and the correct killer is caught in the end. So, give me all of the viewpoints. I won’t get bored.

I admit that my love of some of these tropes is rooted purely in my love of the ridiculous and there’s no doubt that all of these have the potential to go off the rails. But I never said they were necessarily good or that they could be (and probably are) overused. I said that I loved them.

And I do.

Rerun Junkie Confession–I Love a Good Frame

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As someone with a fondness for police shows, I’m familiar with the tropes of the genre. And I admit that I love a frame job.

In reality, people getting framed for crimes is pretty unlikely. More often, the miscarriage of justice isn’t the result of some well-orchestrated, fiendish plot; it’s because law enforcement fixates on a theory and molds the evidence to fit it.

But on television…

Typically, people on TV are framed for murder, but theft is also a frequent frame. And some of these frames can be incredibly elaborate to the point of absolutely questionable. The stretch you’d need to consider it believable would kill your hamstrings. And frankly, I don’t care. I love it. Give me your outlandish, ridiculous frame-ups. I’m in.

To be clear, I’m talking about the deliberate setting up of someone to take a fall, not someone being wrongly accused of a crime someone else did and that person letting them take the wrap. I’m looking for detailed planning targeting a specific person for a specific crime for a specific reason.

Hawaii Five-O has many great frames, but I just covered a two part episode called “Ninety Second War” for Book ’em, Danno that has a magnificent one. This frame, orchestrated by Wo Fat, is designed to merely get Steve McGarrett out of the way for a little while so his government can proceed with the testing of a nuclear weapon delivery device, basically some kind of missile. Gotta consider it high praise when an entire government sees you alone as an obstacle to their whole weapons testing business.

Anyway, Wo Fat could have just kidnapped McGarrett, tucked him away for a few days, left Five-O scrambling to look for him, and while they were distracted, his government could get on with it. But Wo Fat is a beautifully theatrical man. Instead, he spends YEARS setting up a plan that involves a surgically created doppleganger, perfect handwriting imitations, regular bank deposits in a Swiss bank account totaling up to a couple million dollars that make it look like Steve is taking bribes, and then capping it all off by manufacturing a car accident that leaves Steve alive but injured in a car with a dead mobster. All to get him out of the way for a weapons test.

It’s just…perfect. It’s so elaborate and so meticulous and so long-game and it’s only to keep Steve out of their hair for a few days, maybe a week. If he’s indisposed with clearing his name longer, great. But the whole point is that it was done for this specific time. Just amazing.

And that wasn’t even framing him for murder!

Steve McGarrett did get framed for murder at least once that I remember right off the top of my head. He was set up for murdering his girlfriend and Five-O had to work to clear him despite all of the evidence pointing to Steve.

Now that I think about it, Horatio Caine was also framed for murder on CSI: Miami. He was also set up for murdering a woman he’d been dating. Clearly, their similarities are many.

It’s not only our heroes that are getting framed. The good guys are often going to great lengths to prove that innocent people are being framed. These plots are good, but never so good that they can’t be unraveled. And they rarely rival any that are concocted against the good guys.

But that’s okay.

I never get tired of a good frame.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 45

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Book 'em Danno Podcast

Five-O is once again tackling environmental issues in “Is This Any Way to Run a Paradise?” Mild trigger warning: we’ve got a bigoted character with strong anti-Asian feelings, so gird your loins accordingly.

This is your periodic reminder that I provide trigger warnings for things that I think might be upsetting to folks so they can be better educated about the episodes and be in the right mindset to watch/listen. I know I don’t get them all, but I at least try to get the obvious ones. And even if these thing might not be upsetting to you or you might consider minor, someone else might not. I’d rather have someone skip an episode that they might come back to later rather than stop listening all together.

In other, happier news, Lewis Avery Filer returns in “Odd Man In” which means that Daniel R. Budnik returns to talk about it. Yes, Dan usually only drops in for my favorite episode of the season (and he will later in the season), but since “Odd Man In” is a sequel to “Over Fifty? Steal”, which was my favorite episode of Season 3, I had to bring Dan back. We will be talking spoilers from about 1:07:40 to 1:24:17, so consider yourself warned.

With Dan, the episode is a little longer than normal. But we have fun.

Listen on Soundcloud, iTunes, Spotify, and Stitcher.

When Lewis Avery Filer shows up, you never know who he’s going to be.

lewis avery filer dolled up

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 44

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Book 'em Danno Podcast

We’re getting mobbed in this episode! In “A Matter of Mutual Concern” there’s a mob war a’ brewin’. And in “Nine, Ten, You’re Dead”, a man uses mob resources to avenge his injured fighter.

If you watch the episodes, either before or after you listen to me ramble on about them, then be advised of a couple of minor trigger warnings. “A Matter of Mutual Concern” features some racial slurs against Asians as one of the mob bosses is particularly bigoted against them. And there is a scene in “Nine, Ten, You’re Dead” which features cockfighting. It’s brief, but it’s still there and could be upsetting for some viewers. I know I didn’t like it.

Listen on Soundcloud, iTunes, Spotify, and Stitcher.

Here’s the message that was sent to Big Uncle in Miami. Think he gets it?

french mccoy staked

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 43

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Book 'em Danno Podcast

Steve shows his disdain for a neat case in “Burning Ice” and then Five-O finds themselves on the receiving end of a psychological game in “Rest in Peace, Somebody”.

I don’t often tell people how to live their podcast audience lives, but I strongly recommend watching both of these episodes before listening to me prattle on about them. They’re still good watches even if you do listen before you watch, but the pristine viewing experience is really something.

So, after you watch, listen on Soundcloud, iTunes, Spotify, and/or Stitcher.

To properly appreciate my unhinged rant about the mess that’s made in “Rest in Peace, Somebody”, here’s Steve being not too thrilled about it either.

painted desk

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 42

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We’ve got a clever theft ring in “Air Cargo -Dial For Murder” and Marion Ross is an integral part of it. I know. I was shocked, too. The episode kicks off with an OSHA violation murder…Wylie E. Coyote style. Yes, I’m a bad person for thinking that.

A wild robbery scheme in “For a Million…Why Not?” takes Five-O for a ride. With Steve on the Big Island for the Johnny Oporta trial, Danny is leading the charge in trying to fit all of the puzzle pieces together. Or printer’s type, as it were.

I will tell you right now that there are an excessive number of shipped corpses in this episode.

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Oh, by the way, here’s that frozen Ling I promised you.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 41

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Book 'em Danno Podcast

A charming panhandler and his girlfriend steal money from an embezzler in “Two Doves and Mr. Heron”; and a sniper opens fire on a busy road and a stand off with HPD and Five-O ensues in “…And I Want Some Candy and a Gun That Shoots”.

Mild trigger warnings ahoy!

“Two Doves and Mr. Heron” contains some mild, 1970s grade homophobia, which I discuss at length because you can’t stop me.

“…And I Want Some Candy and a Gun That Shoots” features a sniper scenario that has a bit of a mass shooting vibe as well as talk of mental illness. I will be discussing both of these as well.

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But on the bright side, we get an IT mini-series reunion of sorts with John Ritter in a top hat in one episode and a sweet Annette O’Toole in the other. Also, Vic Morrow schooling the young folks and Jeanne Cooper being her absolute ruthless best.

John Ritter is very excited about this.

john ritter in a top hat

Rerun Junkie Confession–Gimme That Found Family Vibe

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I’ve written before about how Gilligan’s Island was the first rerun that really made an impression on me, something that I totally fell in love with even though I was so young. It is most likely responsible for my love of reruns today.

It’s also one of the earliest indications that shows with a found family vibe were going to be in my wheelhouse.

Maybe it’s my own strong desire to belong somewhere, but those shows that feature a group of people coming together to form a family get me on a soul level.

Look at Gilligan’s Island. Seven people thrown together in an unlikely and extreme situation, forced to survive. Okay, that’s a dramatic explanation for a sitcom, but it’s not wrong. They have to come together as a family to survive. Sure, they bicker and quarrel and many times want to drown Gilligan after one of his fuck ups, but ultimately, they care about each other. This never would have happened if they hadn’t gotten shipwrecked. They’d have completed their 3 hour tour (with an unnecessary amount of luggage) and then gone their separate ways. Fate (and Sherwood Schwartz) threw them together and gave them a bond that even being rescued couldn’t break.

But it’s not just that extreme found family vibe I’m looking for. Chosen family is a kind of found family and that works for me, too.

Take for example another early love of mine, The Monkees. It’s a show about a band trying to make it. Obviously, these four guys came together to form a band, so they must have at least known and liked each other before they moved into a beach house together. It’s less fate and more struggling dream that has them scraping together rent and playing gigs. But they’re no different than four brothers, squabbling on occasion, but always having each other’s back. Just look at the episode “Success Story”. Davy’s grandfather is going to take him back to England and the fellas do everything they can to keep him in America. After all, they may not be blood, but they love each other like they were.

It’s this found family/chosen family vibe that could account for my love (at least in part) of cop shows. Be it partners, a team, or a whole squad room, you end up with people who come for the job and stay for the family.

Barney Miller is a great example of this. There’s a squad room of detectives who are paid to be there, but the nature of the job means that they have to have each other’s backs. It’s inevitable that this would eventually extend into their personal lives to an extent. When the final episode sees the precinct closed and everyone split up, you still get the sense that even if they aren’t working together, and maybe if they never see each other again, they all hold a very special place in each other’s lives. The way blood bonds family, they’re bonded by experience.

CSI: Miami not only has a similar vibe, but even has Ryan saying that they’re his family in the final episode.

Starsky & Hutch are akin to blood brothers given how many times one has been near death and the other has bailed him out. Adam-12 has a similar feel even though most of the series focused on the mundane aspects of the job. When you’re riding in a car with a guy for 8-12 hours a day, there’s only a couple of ways your relationship is going to go.

Emergency!, The A-Team, The Golden Girls, Stargate: Atlantis, F-Troop, Magnum PI…the one thing they have in common is that they all have a found family/chosen family vibe.

And I simply cannot get enough of it.